Our Visitor, Gino

Recently my brother in law, Gino, came to stay with Sal and me for an extended visit.   Until I met Sal a little over 30 years ago, I had never been around anyone handicapped.  Although I have been married to Sal for quite a while now, I have never spent an extended amount of time with Gino nor taken care of him on a daily basis.  Gino is both mentally and physically handicapped and uses a walker or wheelchair to get around. 

I’ve learned quite a bit over the past few months since Gino has been our guest.  It has been an eye-opening experience and very positive.  I am aware of the many advertisements regarding the handicapped-on TV, print, and social media, but until you experience living with a handicapped person or spend a lot of time around them, I don’t believe that you can really see the entire picture.

One of the first things I noticed when introducing Gino to people is that some don’t know what to say, how to act, and don’t look Gino in the eye.  I am not blaming them, but it really struck me.  In my younger days, I don’t believe I was like that, but to be honest, I’m not sure.   My biggest angst is finding a handicapped parking place.  We do have a handicap parking placard for Gino, but most times there is no parking available.   We end up driving around looking for a spot or dropping Gino and me off so Sal can find a regular parking place. 

Recently, Sal and I have taken Gino to some dinner parties with our friends.  We truly appreciate our friends and how they all go out of their way to greet Gino, shake his hand, and chat with him.   He doesn’t have a lot to say to them, but when we get home, he’ll tell us, “your friends are beautiful, and I had a great time”.   One thing I know is that everything Gino says comes from the heart.  There is no pretense or hidden agenda and that is so refreshing in today’s world of selfies and social media.

About a week after Gino arrived, he said to me, “sister, thank you so much for taking good care of me”.   I am seeing Gino’s personality and he does have one.  I never realized how aware he is of his surroundings and how people react when around him.   More than once, Gino has told me that I am the best sister in town after I made him a sandwich or helped him get ready in the morning.  It always makes me smile.    

We have two labs, Nolja and Sophie.   Gino really likes them.  Sometimes when I tell the dogs to get outside when they start playing in the house, Gino will say to them, “shame on you dogs, get outside.”  After I hang up the phone, he’ll ask, “who was that and why are you talking about Wednesday?”

Over the past few months I have learned about patience and thoughtfulness.   Gino can be very slow getting around, but he is full of thank you’s.  He always offers to help Sal or me around the house.  For example, He’ll say “sister, can I fold the towels, vacuum, or set the table?”  These would all be difficult tasks for him but believe me if I asked him to do any of these tasks, he would give 200% to try and complete them. 

We recently flew to Texas and took Gino with us.  It was a learning experience for patience.  We enjoyed the trip but had to learn rushing isn’t an option.   Gino used his wheelchair and we had to make special accommodations to get him on and off the plane.  The trip went well, but we had to slow down our usual fast pace we use when it is just Sal and me.

Gino is a great house guest and continues to surprise us.  We are excited that he has stayed for an extended period of time.  We will miss him when he heads home in late December.  If I ever feel down in the dumps, I only need to think of him.  He is always happy and appreciative even though he is not very mobile and has multiple health problems.   These are things to keep in mind when we get upset by everyday occurrences that really aren’t as bad as they may seem.