Synchronicity

“Synchronicity is the coming together of inner and outer events in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect and that is meaningful to the observer.” –  Carl Jung

Have you ever been in a situation that seems impossible to solve?  Recently my 50^th High School Reunion was going to be on the same day as an important meeting that I needed to attend.   I was devastated, however, just as I was thinking I would have to skip the reunion, I was told my meeting was being pushed back by a week.  Now that was great news and great timing.

In my mid-twenties I divorced.   It was a tough time in my life, but I really grew as a person.   For the first time, I was really on my own.   My parents told me I could move back home, but I decided I should find an apartment and be on my own.   They also told me if I needed any money to ask and they would help me.   I told them I was OK but appreciated their offer.  I never did have to ask for help financially.   In fact, at one point I received a check for about $3,000.00 out of the blue.   It was a class action settlement for a lawsuit regarding equal wages for managers of a large department store chain that I had worked for a few years prior.   When I read the letter and saw the check amount I remembered I had seen a previous letter about the suit, but I never followed up.    Again, perfect timing.

During this time, I started playing tennis 2 or 3 times a week, rode my bike to work, worked out daily at the gym, and took a trip to London to see the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament in person.    I had never traveled much, let alone outside the US by myself.    I found a job as a medical assistant for a wonderful doctor’s office.   My life was changing, but as I looked back, it was me who was changing.   I worried less and focused on what I was working towards.    When I looked back I always saw the synchronicity of the past.   I like to call it God’s perfect timing.

In the middle of all this change, someone said to me, “don’t you just hate your ex-husband?”   My response was no, I don’t.    I was focused on moving ahead and enjoying my life.    I kept busy taking classes at the local junior college and later at a nearby state college.   I stopped by my parent’s house frequently and took the time to chat and visit.   Looking back, one of the best aspects of my single years was chatting with my parents as an adult.   My mom and dad shared many stories about growing up and just life in general.    I also visited my sister and family often during this time.  I had lots of fun with my niece and nephew taking them to the park, swimming, and playing.

While playing tennis during that time, I tore the gastrocnemius muscle in my right leg.   It was quite painful, and I was on my back for almost 2 weeks.   I stayed with my parents for those two weeks and my mom waited on me hand and foot.   I always appreciated my parents, but this situation really reminded me what great parents I had.   My mother would leave the house and place my lunch, snacks, and beverages on a tray next to me.   If I hadn’t insisted she should not worry about me, she would have stayed home to take care of me.   I realized that living in the present and focusing on the positive was the road to a happy life.   I didn’t focus on my bum leg, but my great parents who were always there to help and support me.

Fast forward to today and I look back and see how everything happens for a reason.  When one lives in the present and focuses on the positive, I believe things fall into place.     During the years I was single I began to worry less about what might go wrong.   I prayed and thoughtfully moved forward.   I don’t believe in coincidences and would like to share a couple of my experiences:

• I worked for a brokerage firm for a couple of years in the early 80’s, I found that working as a full commission stockbroker wasn’t my thing because I was pushed to hard sell clients and it wasn’t always what I believed would benefit the client. I decided to leave the brokerage firm and go back to the doctor’s office.   After a couple of years working at the doctor’s office.  I found a job with a small broker dealer that serviced investment advisor firms as a back-office administrator.   On my first day on the job, I sat down with my new boss to discuss my position.  I hadn’t noted on my resume that I had a securities series 7 license because it wasn’t required for the job.  Also, I wasn’t concerned about the license expiring since I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be a broker.   I did, however, mention my license during our meeting.  I told my new boss that my broker’s license would expire in 2 weeks.   She said, we want you to keep your license and will expand your duties.   Talk about perfect timing.    Maintaining my license was the key to the rest of my career although I didn’t know it at the time.    Without my license I would not have had the opportunities to work in the jobs that I held for the balance of my career.    One thing led to another.  I did have a wonderful career and loved the various positions I held.
• I met my husband in Mexico while I was on vacation. I was supposed to go on the vacation with a girlfriend, but at the last moment she cancelled.  I almost cancelled but decided I might as well go by myself.   I was living in Sacramento at the time.   When I arrived at the resort most of the people I met were from South America, Europe, and Canada.    There were two gals I met while checking into my room who were from Canada.   When I told them I was alone, they invited me to hang out with them.  I was meeting the two of them for dinner on the first night and when I arrived there was a couple of additional people at the table.   One of them was Sal, who is now my husband.   We hit it off immediately and he just happened to be from Antioch, California about 75 miles from Sacramento.  And the rest is history.  Hmmm…A coincidence?
• Not long after my dad passed away in 2008, my job was eliminated at the large bank where I worked. It was perfect timing because my sister and I were moving my mom to live near my sister and we were cleaning out her house and preparing to rent it.  It took almost 3 months to clean out the house (my dad kept everything), get it ready to rent, and find a tenant.   When we finished our project, I started to seriously look for another job and spiff up my resume.   My phone rang, and it was a former colleague who was now a recruiter for a regional bank and brokerage.  He asked me to interview for a position. I interviewed the next week and was offered the position almost immediately.  God’s perfect timing in play.

I could go on and on looking back at the pieces of my life and how things always fell into place, but you understand my emphasis.   I can’t say I never worry or that sometimes I think, why did this happen to me?    But now most of the time, I focus on the positive and appreciate everyday knowing the pieces will fall into place when I focus on the positive.